Why can't a girl propose?
What you are about to read was a conversation between one of my friends and I a couple of days ago. Minimal editing was done to turn the IMing lingo into a proper readable one....
Yesterday, I had a very
interesting discussion with dad
about the possibility of me one day proposing to a guy,
and how to do
that!!!!
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!
WHY would you want to propose in the
first place?!
Because I highly find it unfair that I
have wait around WAITING for someone to knock our door. What if I find someone whom
I believe is a suitable potential husband. What if it doesn't cross his mind to
propose... why should I wait there helplessly?
Hmmm… if it doesn't come to his mind to
propose, then why propose to him in the first place men? Someone who isn't even
considering the idea…
Those are "what ifs".... But
taking the chance makes it a definite truth. It may be a successful trial, and
it may blow up in my face. What I can do is conduct enough research before
taking a concrete step; but then, guys also never know what the girl's response
will be.
So... it's nothing weird that the
proposal might be met with rejection.
The Freaking Out
Theory…
No, the rejection could come from the
girl because she doesn't feel that she's into him or something. However, if you
did so, rejection from a guy will probably come from either intimidation or
freaking out of the weirdness of this step
Presentation methods may make a
difference. I wouldn't tap his shoulder and go like "Hey, I like you, will
you marry me?"
More like... drag him into it... then
subtly suggest it.
This is a dating proposal, not marriage!
I think that if he even sensed that's
you are proposing in any possible way, he will be freaking out for the
aforementioned reasons.
Okay, let's take you as an example…
If a girl proposes to you... what would
you do? And kindly state the kind of social context through which you have
previously known her; which means, you'll give me several responses, to several
kinds of girls
And be flexible with the imagination;
don't tell me you'll freak out from them all!!
Scenario #1: Have been previously
dating...
Okay, let's imagine contexts…
If we have met somewhere, and have been dating
for, let's say a year.
While we are having dinner somewhere
nice, she would say: "Hey, we have been dating for a while; don't you
think we should take our relationship to the next level?" and maybe she
could pop the question...
Quite frankly, I wouldn't freak out in
that context, because if you have been dating for a year or so, evidently, you will
discuss that issue and she happens to take initiative and pop the question
Perfect, that is a context which from
the very start was leading to that point
What else....
**Scnario #2: Arranged Marriages was
too long… You'll find it in a separate post, if you're interested to read it**
Scenario #3: Acquaintances with no
profound social context
Okay, let's say, someone you've known
for a while, but never within a close or intimate context... and she decides
she likes you, and wants to take a chance on you...
Kinds of approach, and reactions?
Quite frankly, I won't freak out at all;
I would dive into this if I feel the same way about her. I'd say "why
not!"
But then... let me ask you this, for
it's quite crucial... how would you imagine she'd suggest you getting closer?
There's a difference between spilling
out to a guy that u want to get intimate with him and proposing marriage. BIG
DIFFERENCE!
For me, a simple talk over a cup of tea
or coffee will do the trick, and she spilling her thoughts to me
Why do you see proposal as a onetime
shot...
It's more of a process that may start
with a cup of coffee
There's difference between telling
someone you love him and then both of you would see where that it takes you, and
going to the person saying I want to marry you!
Where do you think the first scenario
leads??
That's what I meant by "presentation
methods would make a lot of difference"
The first one was subtle; she was
proposing, but she led the way for him to take the initiative
So, a girl meeting you for cup of coffee
to tell you that she likes you, and wishes to know you better, on a tighter
scope.... sounds fine for you?
Yeah
So, there is a way after all for a girl
to propose
Let's say it's a smart way of putting
the idea of proposing inside the man's head
This is a fucked of mental context where
one doesn't mind being manipulated, whereas straightforward attitude poses as
scary!!!!
"Oh, please play around with my
head, but don't ask me right away"
Justification
Friend
LOL!
What is considered a women's thing? Anything
that's specially for women?
Giving birth, and breast feeding?
And we would LOVE to see men go through
that beautiful experience
Hahaha!
I just can't think of any other
alternatives that aren't painful
Cooking? House hold?
Also, you are most welcome to join in....
Changing diapers?
Be our guest....
Doing every single thing?
Please be a little sensible, and appreciate it....
Those are women's things....
What I was going to say is, some things
give a man his macho man powers just like women have certain things that give
them their feminine powers, and none of them want the other to interfere in
them.
You know what gives us feminine power? or
at least that's what I think…
To be seen beautiful, inside before
outside....
And to be appreciated for our efforts
To be appreciated in general, for who we
are...
The inside thing; sometimes I don't feel
like women do know that they must be loved from the inside
And true, I think it's a basic human
need to be appreciated for what you do
Maybe some women don't realize that,
because that's how the general male society shows their attraction for
females....
So, it's subtly embedded that unless you
look beautiful/ hot, no one will ever notice you
That has become an unquestionable notion…
Social context + bad parenting can cause
disasters!
Wrapping things up....
So you see.... I don't like playing
victim and all... but societal measures are pretty much screwed up
Correct….
And I find the relationships arena a
place to put up a fight
But the general sphere requires one to
do so
The fight becomes one against bent ideas
And shattered standards
True, but the thing is, you are smart
enough to pick your battles
To go all "screw the society and
all its standards"
I do believe that there are some things which
you are capable of changing and fighting, and some that you can't fight alone
True... but at the end of the day,
they're worth fighting for
Chances are you may win or lose
But there's always the middle grounds
chance that you may cause influence
Where someone picks up the fight where
you stopped
