I guess everyone is entitled to one detached emotional blog post every once in a while. So here's my share of unplanned sharing of thoughts and emotions.
We all watch all sorts of emotions-packed movies all the time, but I suppose when "nature" has its way of kicking in some hypersensitivity into your system, those movies tend to have a somewhat stronger effect on you. I guess I just tripped over the right trigger...
Detached Thought 1...
Obviously the movie I was watching revolved around expecting death, and getting to pick a quality of life, or the remainder of it. But that's not what brought tears to my eyes; it was this scene of family and friends gathered around the bed where the soon-to-pass-away girl laid. It reminded me of the time when I used to visit my grandpa and read him all sorts of stuff to entertain him as the times he spent in bed started to grow longer.
It's one of those memories that bring both a tear and a smile to my heart. You see, when I was a little kid, back then when I used to sleep over at my grandparents a lot, my grandpa always used to read me prophets' stories to sleep. As I grew older, I always had this urge to express how much I love him while I still could. So I thought why not read him the same stories that he used to read me. The only problem was, the tome of stories I had was the children's version. I recall that day when he requested the story of a prophet who was old and ill, but Allah cured him; it took me no longer than 5-10 mins to read it, and then he looked up at me, and said, "that's it?!" I honestly couldn't confront him that I was reading him the children's versions!!
The joy that brightened up my heart when I would read him something that would make him laugh is simply indescribable... The days when I would head straight from college to the hospital... The times when I would make sure he was asleep just to cry in the corner of the room.
I really really miss this amazing man, and the warmth that his love brought this big family. But at least it comforts me to know that I tried all my best to let him know how much I love him.
May your soul rest in peace :)
Detached Thought 2...
Back to the movie... It's a typical Hollywood movie where the drama revolves around an axis of romance. And yet again, me being in that mysterious emotional state made me quite vulnerable to picking up signs, especially those of emotional nature.
All of those who know me well enough know that I'm a person who cherishes hugs; sometimes one needn't say anything. Watching this movie just made me think how holding someone's hand, or giving someone a hug is a means of giving them a portion of your emotions, of your energy for love and comfort, of yourself.
I think it's time I confessed this, but one of the things that make me quite happy about being a preschool teacher is the free flow of emotions, and the amount of hugs and kisses one gives and receives everyday. Working with children has certainly transformed my definition and view of love. You know that kick one gets when the one they love finally notices them? That's what I feel when my relationship with any of those 3-year-olds develops and I start seeing the happiness on their faces when they see me. It is such a comfort to know that I have captured the heart of an innocent soul.
I'm in this habit of saturating most of them with hugs and kisses whenever I can, and kissing their little fluffy hands is just my way of telling them that they are such precious beings. Just today, one of the girls was holding my hand, and out of nowhere, I found her kissing mine! I cannot describe what that made me feel like. I told you, a preschool is quite a place to be. They simply transformed what love means to me!
Usually, in order to present a blog post to the very limited readers of this pathetic blog, my thoughts go through a prolonged process of brainstorming, filtering and arranging thoughts, linguistic refining, and then sharing it. This post has gone through NONE of the previous, hence it's quite obvious to say that I have no thoughts to conclude what I have written...
Just... Spread the love, I guess :)
We all watch all sorts of emotions-packed movies all the time, but I suppose when "nature" has its way of kicking in some hypersensitivity into your system, those movies tend to have a somewhat stronger effect on you. I guess I just tripped over the right trigger...
Detached Thought 1...
Death of Loved Ones
Obviously the movie I was watching revolved around expecting death, and getting to pick a quality of life, or the remainder of it. But that's not what brought tears to my eyes; it was this scene of family and friends gathered around the bed where the soon-to-pass-away girl laid. It reminded me of the time when I used to visit my grandpa and read him all sorts of stuff to entertain him as the times he spent in bed started to grow longer.
It's one of those memories that bring both a tear and a smile to my heart. You see, when I was a little kid, back then when I used to sleep over at my grandparents a lot, my grandpa always used to read me prophets' stories to sleep. As I grew older, I always had this urge to express how much I love him while I still could. So I thought why not read him the same stories that he used to read me. The only problem was, the tome of stories I had was the children's version. I recall that day when he requested the story of a prophet who was old and ill, but Allah cured him; it took me no longer than 5-10 mins to read it, and then he looked up at me, and said, "that's it?!" I honestly couldn't confront him that I was reading him the children's versions!!
The joy that brightened up my heart when I would read him something that would make him laugh is simply indescribable... The days when I would head straight from college to the hospital... The times when I would make sure he was asleep just to cry in the corner of the room.
I really really miss this amazing man, and the warmth that his love brought this big family. But at least it comforts me to know that I tried all my best to let him know how much I love him.
May your soul rest in peace :)
Detached Thought 2...
The Marvel and Magnitude of Human Emotions
Back to the movie... It's a typical Hollywood movie where the drama revolves around an axis of romance. And yet again, me being in that mysterious emotional state made me quite vulnerable to picking up signs, especially those of emotional nature.
All of those who know me well enough know that I'm a person who cherishes hugs; sometimes one needn't say anything. Watching this movie just made me think how holding someone's hand, or giving someone a hug is a means of giving them a portion of your emotions, of your energy for love and comfort, of yourself.
I think it's time I confessed this, but one of the things that make me quite happy about being a preschool teacher is the free flow of emotions, and the amount of hugs and kisses one gives and receives everyday. Working with children has certainly transformed my definition and view of love. You know that kick one gets when the one they love finally notices them? That's what I feel when my relationship with any of those 3-year-olds develops and I start seeing the happiness on their faces when they see me. It is such a comfort to know that I have captured the heart of an innocent soul.
I'm in this habit of saturating most of them with hugs and kisses whenever I can, and kissing their little fluffy hands is just my way of telling them that they are such precious beings. Just today, one of the girls was holding my hand, and out of nowhere, I found her kissing mine! I cannot describe what that made me feel like. I told you, a preschool is quite a place to be. They simply transformed what love means to me!
Usually, in order to present a blog post to the very limited readers of this pathetic blog, my thoughts go through a prolonged process of brainstorming, filtering and arranging thoughts, linguistic refining, and then sharing it. This post has gone through NONE of the previous, hence it's quite obvious to say that I have no thoughts to conclude what I have written...
Just... Spread the love, I guess :)
