Picture a loud party with, well, a lot of
people partying. Do you know that person at the distant corner of the hall just
observing and smiling with absurdity? Yippy yay, there you’ve spotted me!
That’s my favorite seat at the relationships arena… the silent observer whose
contributions are manifested in mockery.
Sounds pretty pathetic, don’t you think?
Why, I beg to disagree…
Sarcastic female observers have fun differently,
because they’ve got their “dudes”, and in return, they become “she-dudes”
themselves. While winged eye-liners and pointed high heels (and of course, rich
characters!) may crown some girls the shimmering label ‘girlfriend’, the road
to being a ‘she-dude’ is paved solely for the hard core.
Now here’s the fork where girls walk
different paths. There are the girly girls (God forbid I become one, الشر برّة و بعيد),
and there are the girls who are no less intact with their femininity, but
they’d rather high five and punch than hug and blow kisses in the air. I’m not
saying either is good or bad, but people naturally have preferences.
I was the kid who watched G.I. Jane with
dropped jaws, and I still am the one who punches and high fives.
Although girly girls and she-dudes rarely ever
share common grounds, it seems unanimously agreed upon that male company is
much more fun and interesting than that of females.
Here’s what the GIRLS have to say….
When I inquired about the reasons
making male company more appealing, the majority of replies came in similarly
stating that males seem significantly less dramatic, more fun, more willing to
take risks, and generally more laid back and chilled.
Even though the previous seemed almost
indisputable, a few girls did some reality check and wound up sharing how some
guys can be the most royal of all drama queens. Some others even concluded that
it has nothing to do with genders.
Yet at the end of the day, the facts to most
girls imply otherwise.
But hey, guys pretty much have a say, too. Even
if they are courteous enough not to embarrass girls and ask them to back off, how
much are they actually okay with female presence in a casual manner? And most
crucially, are ‘she-dudes’ a truth or a myth?
Here’s what the BOYS have to say…
What came off as good news to me is
that the guys who responded ascertained that certain girls can indeed become
‘she-dudes’. Not only is it a truth, but also a social bond that comes in handy
to a lot of guys. As one of my dudes put it, “most
guys, like myself, can't understand the way a girly girl's brain functions. So
you always end misinterpreted. You might even end up offending her or making
her feel uncomfortable without even having the slightest idea!! On the other
hand, girl dudes think like dudes (or at least know how dudes think) so it's
very easy to have a conversation with one of them.”
In addition to ‘she-dudes’
being a rather functional intermediary
between the masculine and feminine worlds, at a certain level they
become a safety zone for the guys to confide in them. Although this is more of
a personal conclusion, I believe ‘she-dudes’ are quite practical to converse
with, and especially when it comes to personal matters. They’re logical and
analytical listeners who balance out matter by incorporating emotional
intelligence (which might often be undermined by the dudes). “However, it is
much more common for girls to completely confide in a guy which results in the
phenomenon known as having a "gay" friend,” added one of my friends.
What’s the Catch, then?
Obviously, this social sphere
seems like a win-win situation; tough girls get to freely be themselves away
from the clichés and drama, while the guys get their free ticket to
understanding this mystifying female world. Yet what grants girls access to
this obscene harsh manly world?
“We absolutely have no problem with a girl
entering "دائرتنا الذكورية" (our masculine circle) as long as she can handle it.” And that’s that!
A Few Obstacles along the Way
Seems like a perfect case
scenario, don’t you think? Too perfect to be fully truly though. Here are some
loopholes my friends have encountered…
“From what I see, some guys
don't like having girls as dudes because it's a matter of perspective mainly,
being that girls are girls and boys can't share certain stuff with them girls
because they won't understand that.”
And to some others, shared
content wasn’t the only issue. “I don't think that such friendship can last for
long considering societal and communal constrains and stuff like that.”
As the conversation drifted to that
perspective, it seemed logical that with “girls being girls, and boys being
boys”, such affection would naturally be translated into more intimate
emotions, which leads my friend to the conclusion that a girl becomes a
‘she-dude’ “if there is a conclusive and reasonable explanation making it
impossible for our friendship to turn into a relationship.”
My Personal Take
I know that no social relationship will
ever truly fulfill our desire for having the significant other who comes
along with a lot of bullshit, yet manages to make our lives complete. Whether or
not I’ll manage to keep my ‘dudes’ if my significant other comes along
some day, I don’t quite know. But until then, I want to give you all virtual
squishy hugs (err, I mean high-fives) because you have added so many layers of value, excitement and
safety to my life. I honor that your keenness and blunt honesty have brought me
closer to realizing much about myself. And last but not least, thank you for
letting me in دائرتكم الذكورية! *screams “SEXISTS”*
Peace Out!
