During the year I worked as a preschool teacher, I was taught that children find sanctuary in routine because it's always easy to anticipate what will happen next.
If you were raised in an Egyptian home like myself, chances are you hated the response "Insha'Allah" (God willing) whenever you asked your parents whether something in the future was going to happen, be it an outing or buying something new. You always yearned for a clear 'Yes' or 'No'.
Growing past childhood, our desire for clear answers is usually barely changed. The only difference is that it encompasses a wider array of matters. Questions about future plans, ideologies, beliefs, and existential thoughts engulf us, all pleading to be met with clear answers that leave no room for the bewilderment of doubt.
But much like a person lost at sea, we cling to the first form of a clear idea we come across, no matter how narrow minded, erroneous or incomplete it is. The thought of venturing back into that vast and dark sea of the unknown sends a shiver down our spines.
And before we know it, life is polarized into whites and blacks with a vast space of nothingness in between. Nothingness that either makes us scared, angry or defensive.
The Safety Net of Grey Areas
I believe that one has got to be a human being with purpose. Going with the flow does not mean you should be spineless or with no grounds to stand. I know how numbingly comfortable it is to know exactly where you're going. How confident it makes you to know every step you'll take, at least until you reach the horizon.
But are you even certain you'll live to see another day? Are you for a fact certain of anything?
No. And if you are, I hate to break it to you, but you'll face some really hard times ahead of you.
I don't like heartache, and unless you're a masochist, I don't think you do either. That's why my favorite strategy by far is bearing in mind that 'everything is a fifty-fifty chance.' For as long as you keep that in sight, you'll take whatever life throws at you with pleasure if it's good, or patience if it's bad.
It's much like how you never get disappointed if you never had expectations in the first place.
Weaving the Grey Bonds of Love and Understanding
The grey area is much more than just relief and acceptance for the life events that unfold. The grey area is where much of life happens, and where most of our emotions, hopes and fears lie as well.
It is this room where you feel confident enough to admit you've been wrong, and to venture back into the dark because you know it's the only way you can ever grow. You will do so knowing that chances are great you'll keep swimming for longer than you hope, and that you'll probably get exhausted along the way.
But it's like once you've opened up your mind and heart to the grey area, you can never tolerate the closing walls of definite blacks and whites. Because every time you look at them, all you see will be the greys that lead to either. Grey will be inevitable, and unlike how you thought it would be, accepting its uncertainty will be key to your inner peace.
I don't mean to come off as a wise ass, for I am as foolish as a king's jester pretends to be. But this much I know, that love brings me inner peace. And that I can't accept, let alone love myself or those around me if I fail or refuse to see and ponder the grey area.
It hurts me and greatly troubles me whenever I see people getting aggressive with one another over difference of opinion or perspective. This idea that there is only one right answer, and one right way to look at things has brought us nothing but hatred and an urge to hurt one another.
Life is in the here and now. Don't waste your time away swimming against the endless tides of 'what if.'
I don't know how many shades there are to grey, but I'm sure each one of them is unique and worth contemplating. Take it or leave it, but either way give it the respect it deserves.
