One of the scary ideas I have about parenting, if I'm ever a parent, is how I'll possibly communicate right and wrong to a child while respecting their own space to make up their minds and form their own notions about the world. How can I do so without unintentionally planting any grudges in their hearts?
I grew up in a healthy family, both metaphorically at heart, and physically; two blessings I am forever thankful for. None of us are tobacco or hash smokers, or alcohol drinkers. I was always encouraged to eat healthily, and constantly do sports.
As one grows up, it is inevitable to encounter both means of learning about the world. You are taught what is right, and encouraged to pursue it, while you're also warned against the wrong, and cautioned to distance yourself from it.
Even though I'm not entirely sure when or how that happens, but we slowly start to associate wrong doing with bad people. We start to unintentionally label people early on at a young age.
It wasn't until quite recently that I was alerted to the prejudices I carry within but am unaware of.
Given the atmosphere I grew up in, exploring new realms of people came along with a multitude of new thoughts worth contemplating.
"Do you know why I arrive with such a cheerful mood everyday at work?" asked one of my ex-coworkers one day out of the blue, "It's because smoke hash before I come to work."
Unlike how I would have expected myself to react, I replied, "Well, I can't say I'm quite okay with smoking hash, but you're a beautiful person, and I have no problem with that. You're free to do whatever you want."
Not quite long afterwards, my coworkers were sharing when each of them started smoking cigarettes, when one of the people I would hands down consider very dear to my heart said, "I smoked hash for a really long while before I started smoking cigarettes."
What both surprises me and brings comfort to my heart is how I was farthest from startled when either of them shared that they smoke hash. Over the past couple of years, the list of people who I learned are hash smokers has been growing, but it is consoling to know that I have grown to be able to segregate between a person and what they do.
Many may argue that what a person does speaks volumes about who they are, which does make sense. But then, this is only one of many layers of what they do, and who they are.
Among the mentioned people, and those I haven't mentioned are people whose minds are brilliant , whose hearts are very pure, and who are always keen to remind me how I am loved for who I am. Among them are people who are in constant mental and spiritual pursuit to find sanctuary and equilibrium. Among them are people I truly love, respect and cherish.
At this point, it doesn't quite matter what my stance is towards smoking or drinking or whichever other habit which may not be welcomed by society. What does matter is that I have seen beyond those habits, and what I saw was beautiful.
We're never going to all be the same, nor hold the exact same sets of beliefs. As long as my beliefs don't hurt others, nor do theirs hurt me, I can't see one reason why I should hold grudges or build unnecessary walls.
When we just live and let live, the world exposes so much of its beauty that we previously chose to avoid or un-see.
I grew up in a healthy family, both metaphorically at heart, and physically; two blessings I am forever thankful for. None of us are tobacco or hash smokers, or alcohol drinkers. I was always encouraged to eat healthily, and constantly do sports.
As one grows up, it is inevitable to encounter both means of learning about the world. You are taught what is right, and encouraged to pursue it, while you're also warned against the wrong, and cautioned to distance yourself from it.
Even though I'm not entirely sure when or how that happens, but we slowly start to associate wrong doing with bad people. We start to unintentionally label people early on at a young age.
It wasn't until quite recently that I was alerted to the prejudices I carry within but am unaware of.
Given the atmosphere I grew up in, exploring new realms of people came along with a multitude of new thoughts worth contemplating.
"Do you know why I arrive with such a cheerful mood everyday at work?" asked one of my ex-coworkers one day out of the blue, "It's because smoke hash before I come to work."
Unlike how I would have expected myself to react, I replied, "Well, I can't say I'm quite okay with smoking hash, but you're a beautiful person, and I have no problem with that. You're free to do whatever you want."
Not quite long afterwards, my coworkers were sharing when each of them started smoking cigarettes, when one of the people I would hands down consider very dear to my heart said, "I smoked hash for a really long while before I started smoking cigarettes."
What both surprises me and brings comfort to my heart is how I was farthest from startled when either of them shared that they smoke hash. Over the past couple of years, the list of people who I learned are hash smokers has been growing, but it is consoling to know that I have grown to be able to segregate between a person and what they do.
Many may argue that what a person does speaks volumes about who they are, which does make sense. But then, this is only one of many layers of what they do, and who they are.
Among the mentioned people, and those I haven't mentioned are people whose minds are brilliant , whose hearts are very pure, and who are always keen to remind me how I am loved for who I am. Among them are people who are in constant mental and spiritual pursuit to find sanctuary and equilibrium. Among them are people I truly love, respect and cherish.
At this point, it doesn't quite matter what my stance is towards smoking or drinking or whichever other habit which may not be welcomed by society. What does matter is that I have seen beyond those habits, and what I saw was beautiful.
We're never going to all be the same, nor hold the exact same sets of beliefs. As long as my beliefs don't hurt others, nor do theirs hurt me, I can't see one reason why I should hold grudges or build unnecessary walls.
When we just live and let live, the world exposes so much of its beauty that we previously chose to avoid or un-see.
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